The Seven Stages of Grief by Helen McMullan

As I navigate the loss of my much-loved nephew, I’ve been reflecting on the unpredictable, often overwhelming journey of grief. It’s a path none of us can avoid—it’s the price we pay for deep love and connection. In sharing my thoughts, I hope to offer some comfort and insight for others who may be walking this road, helping them make sense of the emotions that come with loss.

The Seven Stages of Grief

Grief is messy. It doesn’t follow a straight path, and there’s no rulebook for how you should feel or when. But understanding the seven stages of grief can help make sense of the emotional whirlwind that comes with loss.

These stages aren’t neat or predictable—some people skip certain stages, others revisit them multiple times. Grief is personal, and there’s no timeline.

Shock & Disbelief

That first moment when everything changes. The news hits, but it doesn’t feel real. Your brain protects you by numbing the pain, like a buffer between you and the enormity of what’s happened.

Denial

“This isn’t happening.” You convince yourself that life is still normal, that nothing has changed. Denial helps us cope in those early days when reality feels too overwhelming to process.

Guilt & Bargaining

“If only I had…” “What if I had done this differently?” The mind plays tricks, making you believe you could have changed the outcome. Sometimes, this turns into bargaining—pleading with the universe for a do-over, a second chance.

Sadness & Regret

Reality sinks in, and with it comes deep sorrow. The longing for the past, the ache for what was. It’s a heavy stage, but also an important one—grief is love with nowhere to go.

Anger

It doesn’t feel fair. You might feel angry at the world, at fate, at the person who left, or even at yourself. Anger is natural—it’s part of processing the loss and the powerlessness that comes with it.

Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean ‘okay.’ It doesn’t mean the pain disappears. It means acknowledging what’s happened and learning to carry the grief alongside life.

Hope

One day, without even realising it, you’ll laugh again. You’ll think of them and smile instead of cry. You’ll see glimpses of light in the darkness, and step by step, you’ll move forward—not leaving them behind, but carrying them with you.

Grief isn’t a checklist to tick off or a journey with a clear destination. It’s a rollercoaster—unpredictable, full of highs and lows, moments of calm, and sudden waves of emotion. However you experience it, know this: there is no “right” way to grieve—there is only your way.

As an independent celebrant, I’m here to support you through this difficult time, helping you honour and celebrate your loved one in a way that feels true to them—and to you. If you need a compassionate and understanding guide to help create a meaningful farewell, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

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